There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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8============D PEN1S

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops