A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Rebecca Black

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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shut up

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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