What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

like my drawing of a white person?

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

your life

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

Knock knock Who's there? What.

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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