Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

whyo black peopple lie koolade the like the taste

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

What does a tree do all day? Boredom

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

Justin Bieber

A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

the chicken whent boomand then died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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