What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Icecream

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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