I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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"Hello." "Hi."

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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boobs

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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