why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

thumb_up thumb_down +21

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

thumb_up thumb_down +17

arse

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

jack shine has boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do u call a hobo name Max Max

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops