I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Women's rights.

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sweaty black guy

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Women

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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