A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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So these two guys are in this barn f!@#$%^ this owl! no terms of service were available but i posted anyway cuz i just didnt want the best anti to be missed!

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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How many militant feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, one to change the bulb and another to suck my dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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