roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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