what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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