when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops