Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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star wars kid

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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