What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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