Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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