What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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