A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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