A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Potassium? K.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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