How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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