A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops