Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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