What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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