How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops