How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Jimmy Saville

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops