Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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