Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops