Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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One, two, three, four and five

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops