What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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ajkswhfuilafhgkfdgbluft

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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roses are red poo is poo

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops