Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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A penis walks into a bar..

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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404 Error: Joke not found

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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