Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

David Cameron

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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