What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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