A van drives into a car.

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

feminism

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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