Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops