Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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