Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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pobody's nerfect

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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knock knock go away!!!

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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