Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops