What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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fava beans

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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