I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops