A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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