Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Hey

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops