Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Why didn't he finish his

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

there once was a chicken it was yellow

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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