What's green and wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

live babies

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops