Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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VITAMIN C!

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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