What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops