What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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America

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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A pope meets another one

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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And you honored it I see :P

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops