How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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hi michael

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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