a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Atheism

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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