Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -94

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops