Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

An Amish walks into Best Buy

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

NEVER

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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