What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops