What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops