Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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This is an anti- joke

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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