Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Whats green? The color green.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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the game

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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