why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Asian women drivers...

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Y u do dis?

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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