What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Me

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

A fat man walked into a hot dog.

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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